Dealing with Grief During the Holidays

For most people, when you think of the jjolifays, you think of a time of joy, family, and celebration. But for many of us dealing with the loss of a loved one, it can also bring feelings of sadness, longing, and even isolation. Whether you’re navigating your first holiday season without someone special or carrying a loss that’s been with you for years, it’s important to give yourself grace and space to grieve.

Here are some tips to help you manage grief during the holidays while finding moments of peace and connection. While the tips of generally for those that have loss a loved one, the same tips are relevant to other forms of grief, whether a change in relationship, your job situation, or recent move, all can be applied.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Grief is complex and can feel especially intense during the holidays. It’s okay to feel a mix of emotions—sadness, joy, anger, or even relief. Acknowledging your feelings rather than suppressing them can help you begin to heal.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

The holidays don’t have to look the same as they did before your loss. Allow yourself to decide which traditions you want to keep and which ones you may want to set aside. Setting boundaries with yourself and others will help you navigate this time with less pressure.

3. Honor Their Memory

Finding ways to honor your loved one’s memory can bring a sense of connection and comfort. Light a candle in their honor, prepare their favorite dish, or create a new tradition, such as hanging an ornament or sharing stories about them with family.

4. Give Yourself Permission to Say No

The holiday season often comes with a whirlwind of invitations and activities, but you don’t have to say yes to everything. It’s okay to decline events or traditions that feel overwhelming. Prioritize what feels meaningful to you and let go of the rest.

5. Lean on Your Support System

Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to carry it alone. Surround yourself with friends or family who understand your feelings. If you need to talk, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Sometimes, just having someone listen can make a difference.

6. Create New Traditions

Starting a new tradition can help you move forward while honoring the past. It could be volunteering, traveling, or finding a quiet way to celebrate. New traditions don’t replace old ones; they simply help you adapt to the changes in your life.

7. Practice Self-Care

Grief can take a physical and emotional toll, so it’s important to prioritize your health. Get enough rest, eat nourishing foods, and take time for activities that bring you peace—whether that’s journaling, meditating, or taking a long walk in nature.

8. Plan Ahead for Difficult Moments

Certain holiday moments—like opening gifts or hearing a special song—may trigger strong emotions. Anticipate these moments and decide how you’ll handle them. Having a plan can help you feel more in control.

9. Seek Professional Support

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a grief counselor or joining a support group. Professional guidance can provide a safe space to process your emotions and learn healthy coping strategies.

10. Embrace Joy Without Guilt

It’s natural to feel guilty for moments of joy while grieving, but it’s important to remind yourself that experiencing happiness doesn’t diminish the love you have for your loved one. Allow yourself to enjoy the good moments when they come—they’re part of the healing process.

11. Give Back in Their Honor

One powerful way to keep your loved one’s memory alive is by giving back in their name. Donate to a cause they cared about, volunteer your time, or perform small acts of kindness. Giving can bring a sense of purpose and connection during the holiday season.

12. Be Present in the Moment

While grief often pulls us into the past, try to stay present with the love and support around you now. Focus on small moments of gratitude, even if they’re different from what you’ve known before.

The holidays may never feel the same after a loss, but they can still hold meaning and beauty. By giving yourself grace, creating space to grieve, and leaning into support when you need it, you can navigate this season in a way that feels authentic to you.

If you’re grieving this holiday season, know that you’re not alone. Take it one day at a time (sometimes even one moment at a time), and remember that healing is a journey, not a destination.

What traditions or practices have helped you cope with grief during the holidays? Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s support one another in this journey.